Dear Baby Jesus,

While watching the movie Left Behind (starring Kurt Cameron) the other night, I noticed that among the left behind humans are also left behind dogs. My question for you, Baby Jesus, is whether all dogs get left behind or only sinner dogs that never accepted you? What about dogs in Third World countries who never even heard about you?

Thanks!

Brent

My Child,

Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s just a movie”? I assume you get that a lot, Brent, but it hasn’t really sunk in, has it?

I think I know where all this confusion is coming from, Brent. It happens all the time with film buffs such as yourself. Contrary to what the animated classic would have you believe, not all dogs go to Heaven. It’s just not done. However, I would say that most dogs make it through the gates, even the ones who have never heard of Me. The outcasts are limited to those that are so possessed by their own demons that not even Cesar Milan can whisper the evil out of them. It’s not that Dad doesn’t love all his creatures; He’s just found that those particular animals are too destructive to thrive in Paradise. Satan’s house is a hellhole, so he doesn’t mind a little gnawing and snarling.

In “Left Behind” (which stars a very special child of God, KIRK Cameron), some seemingly good dogs are left behind.  However, you must understand that the film was not inspired by quite the same level of divine intervention as, say, the Bible. People make mistakes. And sometimes these mistakes lead to a flood of nagging questions interrupting the Baby Jesus’ naptime.

And I would say that film buffs who wake the Baby Jesus with their inane queries have a greater risk of being left behind than any “sinner” pup.