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Just Don’t Order the #666

October 20th, 2008 · 4 Comments · Questions

Sweet baby Jesus,
Should I have Domino’s, KFC or the always delicious Taco Bell for dinner? Once again, you have given the world too many choices…

My child,

You are right about one thing. There are many choices in life. Boxers or briefs. Tila Tequila or New York. Paper or plastic (or better yet, reusable cloth—the Baby Jesus was progressive way before those damn hippies caught on).

I love options, but I am greatly saddened your food choices have been reduced to pizza that is only acceptable when you are A) starving or B) wasted, fried chicken that is 90 percent MSG and 10 percent horse meat or “Mexican” food that is more effective than Imodium AD. It’s kind of like choosing from free tickets to “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” a night of free babysitting from Britney Spears or a hunting trip with Dick Cheney. There is no good choice.

What happened to the days when people would buy food fresh from the market every day to prepare for dinner? I’m talking seasonal vegetables, fish just caught that morning, bread hot out of the oven. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m pretty sure that’s how you’re supposed to eat! Dad did not intend for you to defile your body, His great work of art, by filling it with frozen, freeze-dried, deep-fried crap you buy at the drive-thru.

What’s that? You’re too busy to cook a well-balanced meal? I’m sorry, it’s pretty freaking exhausting fielding your questions and prayers all day long, but I still manage to find time to whip up a nice pad thai at the end of the day. Please, do yourself a favor: turn off “Survivor” and go make yourself a dang quesadilla.

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4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 the burg // Oct 21, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    Amy, why don’t you do what the slightly older Jesus would do. Invite over several hundred of your closest friends and give out a couple of fish and a loaf of bread. Wait til everyone is done eating and you’ll be amazed by the baskets of food that remain. That should save you from Taco Bell for at least a week.

  • 2 Brandon // Apr 9, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    It’s funny goodluck adhd strattera squeezing pulp to extract all flavour. Stir in lime juice, cinnamon, half the cloves and ½ gallon of cold

  • 3 Nicole // Aug 9, 2014 at 2:52 am

    Hi Neda, Could you please cnghae your XML output to have the entire posts. I don’t get the chance to browse websites and I only rely on my rssreader and want to be able to read your blog too.thanks.

  • 4 Amit // Feb 17, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    e! raast migan!!! man taa haalaa nhimaafde boodam ghazaai ke be khordemoon midan che ghadr baa axe tablighesh fargh mikone!! vali pish az KHAAREJ oomadanam hich vaght fekr nemikardam ke macdonaald in ghadr bad mazze baashe

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